Typically anxiety is depicted as sweaty palms and hearts racing. Here are 3 ways anxiety can show up in life
Anxiety is experienced by everyone. It can be really tricky to feel like that is true because you may notice yourself getting nervous about things that others around you do not. Don’t fret, that’s not abnormal. Compared to other emotions anxiety can feel more elusive. That’s because it is not usually talked about and there isn’t one way that it shows up. This makes it hard to identify. Here are 3 ways that anxiety commonly shows up:
Perfectionism:
You make list after list after list, always adding to them and never seeming to make a dent in completing them. The list of items you need to do, projects, appointments, phone calls, emails, meal planning, errands; it’s endless. You want to just take a breath but you don’t have the time. The items on this list all seem to have the same sense of urgency even when you know logically that they don’t.
Things feel like they need to be completed and done in a certain way so, although you could delegate some of the tasks, you tell yourself “It will just be more work to try and get someone to do what I need, it will be easier if I just do it.” When things get marked off the list 5 more things show up. Things need to be done just so, perfectly, correctly and the right way.
A big issue with perfectionism is that it is burdensome for the person who believes that this is the only and best way to show up. It is a rigid form of doing things and often makes it hard to be flexible. This often makes it hard to show up without things being perfect and feeling out-of-control or avoidant when things are not perfect.
When one does “show up perfectly” it can receive a lot of praise, acceptance and reward from society making it an even harder pattern to step away from.
Do you want to know the difference between Social Anxiety and Shyness? Read more here Shyness vs Social Anxiety.
Over Thinking:
You rethink and replay scenarios over and over in your mind. Trying to identify “where it went wrong” and “how it could have gone better.” You analyze if you said the right thing and wonder if other people noticed how embarrassed and nervous you felt.
Sometimes you catch yourself thinking way too much but it doesn’t mean the scenarios stop playing in your mind all together. They come back eventually and you find your mind rehashing the same thing over and over again. Talking yourself through each step you/they took, should have taken and will take next time.
A major issue with over-thinking is that it is hidden from view. Since this behavior happens inside your mind others will not know that this is occurring for you unless you tell them. This pattern often remains hidden due to needing to solve the issue yourself and labeling over-thinking as silly. You may have voiced over thinking thoughts and gotten poor reviews. This makes it even less likely you will reach out again.
Inner Critic:
You hear it. You know that voice. The one that grades everything that you do and *spoiler alert* you are usually failing. The voice comes in loud and harsh and reminds you: “You’re lazy, that’s why you didn’t __________” “If you were more like _____, they have it together.” “You’re annoying” “You’re fat” “Don’t feel that way.” The critic isn’t always around but damn, when it is it’s harsh. You wouldn’t talk to your friends the way you talk to yourself! Oftentimes, you find yourself believing the critic and even agreeing with it.
A major issue with the inner critic is that it is hidden from others. It is impossible for others to read your mind and know the inner dialogue you have. This pattern can be increasingly hurtful because when you talk to others it does not reflect what your inner critic says to you. This makes it even harder for yourself and others to address how the inner critic dialogue is impacting you.
Any of these types of behavior seem familiar? You may experience one or all of these behaviors. All three of them often occur in the mindspace which makes them easy to hide from others and even avoid yourself. You are not alone in experiencing these. Anxiety takes many forms and knowing how anxiety shows up for you can be a helpful step in your journey.
Per usual, I hope this content helps you in your powerful and transformative journey.
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