Couples Counseling in Edmond: Why Date Night is a Priority
Going on dates is a normal and common part of relationships especially at the beginning of the relationship as this is often how you get to know and spend time with one another. However, as relationships become more long term it is not abnormal for date nights to become less and less a part of the way couples spend their time. Now, I know you didn’t just stop doing date nights because you wanted to, just like people rarely come to couples counseling in Edmond because they had the free time.
Dates happen less often as life gets busier, you have more responsibilities and the ideas for a date night seem harder to plan for and come up with. You might even notice that you plan or talk about a date without it actually happening. The babysitter cancels, the place you planned on going to is closed, coordinating dates didn’t work out, the list goes on.
I want to help you prioritize date night as having this ritual be a part of your relationship can not only help bring some back some sizzle but also provide opportunities for greater connection, fun and silliness. Date night allows you and your partner to focus on each other and nothing else. When you commit to making date nights work you also show your partner that this relationship matters!
#1 What is date night?
The first thing I want you to do is think back on the last time you had a date night. Now when I say date night I don’t mean that you and your partner when out at night to your favorite place. Date night can be several things from going out to lunch, working on a puzzle, or sharing in a cup of tea at home. Don’t get caught up in what date night is supposed to look like and discover what date night is for the two of you. The more work it takes to go on a date the less likely you are to continue to follow through with making it happen.
Pro tip: Take this as a moment to learn about what feels like a date to your spouse.
#2 Where is your Date Night at?
When was your last “date night”? Do you vividly remember when it was? Do you not know at all? Don’t panic. We just want to know what date nights are looking like for you. Obviously there will be times when things come up and date nights will not be possible, when you have a consistent schedule that will be less likely to create issues but when the usual is to miss or skip out on date night it will create problems. It is important to be flexible but your relationship can’t always be the one that takes the hit.
Pro tip: Normalize that both of you and life have contributed to what your dates look like and that blame isn’t needed.
#3 Committing to the importance of Date Night
You and your partner must decide that date night’s are an important opportunity for your relationship. Commit to making date night a priority and when issues come up do your best to reschedule. Give making date night a weekly occurrence a priority and see how that impacts the relationship.
Pro tip: Looking over schedules at the start of the week can help you mitigate potential date night issues and move things around ahead of time.
#4 Get Silly with it
Let you and your partner dream and brainstorm fun date ideas, maybe you look up places to explore close to you or revisit dates you’ve done in the past. You might make a new recipe together or get a new picture printed for a picture frame. There are lots of options and I’m sure you will be surprised by what you can come up with. If being more spontaneous is your style then do that.
Pro tip: If you are out of habit of going on dates consistently, having a “date bank” can be helpful.
I hope this helps reignite your desire to make date night happen more often. Your relationship is worth the investment! Need more support than just a date night? Then, book your free discovery call with me for couples counseling in Edmond. Let me help you uncover the transformative potential of couples counseling when guided by a clear plan and the expertise of the right therapist can help you now, tomorrow and well into your future.
There are multiple ways that people respond to different scenarios and the examples above are only a few. However it is not abnormal to provide better advice than what one ends up doing in their own lives. I hope this helps you explore the differences between the advice you give versus what you do.
I’m also creating fun and useful content on my other social media channels! 🙂
