Couples Counseling in Edmond: 4 common stumbling blocks
Finding a therapist for yourself and finding a therapist that both you AND your partner feel like you can work with can seem like a big ask. You want the relationship to improve but you find that one of you seems more invested or interested in couples counseling in Edmond than the other. This is a common issue for couples and I get it.
I hope that as you read this blog you get more clarity on what working with a couples therapist can look like and hopefully provide comfort as you decide on how to move forward in your counseling journey.
#1 I am working with a therapist and thought my partner could just join in.
I get it, you’ve found someone you like and you want your partner to delight in them as well. You also already feel understood by this therapist and think that they could help you and your partner since “They get it.” This is a tempting option however not a great place for you and your partner. You have a history with your therapist that your partner doesn’t have and it is very intimidating to walk into that space as a partner. We also want your space with your therapist to remain sacred and for you and your partner to get a fresh start with someone new where you can build a relationship with this therapist together without anyone seeming to have the upper hand.
#2 I want to go to counseling but my partner does not.
This is one of the biggest barriers in relationship counseling. The truth is that one person always wants it more than the other. It is very hard and rare to both have the same level of desire for most things, one of which is: couples counseling. There are several options to consider in handling this situation. I can’t cover all the scenarios in this blog but the main question I would have you consider is what happens if you don’t go to counseling together? And is that an outcome you are willing to face? I would pose this for you and your partner to consider.
#3 I found a therapist but I don’t know if my partner will connect with them.
Congrats on finding a therapist you feel you can work with. In my practice, we only move forward with a couples session if I have gotten to have a discovery call with each of you. Yes, I talk to you individually and do a separate call with your partner. I want to hear your view as well as your partner’s view as your perspectives are different, valuable and deserve to be honored. We only move forward if all three of us believe it could work. If not, I send you to someone else and you give it another go with them.
#4 If I go to couples then I’ll just have my partner and the therapist “against me”.
This is a very real fear and hinders many from seeking out couples counseling. In my practice, I like to normalize the fact that you are in couples but each of you will have your own experience in the process of attending sessions and that’s valid. You will experience what I call the “HOT SEAT”. There will be times in the session where one of you feels like you got more of the focus than the other and sometimes we touch raw places that feel tender after the session. We won’t always get to balance right but I will check in with you. I want to know how sessions are going and how difficult it’s been to enter the therapy room as a couple. We grow, learn and tweak together.
I hope this helps you as you take on your couples counseling journey in Edmond. If you and your partner are ready to move away from dissatisfaction in your relationship then book your free discovery call with me and uncover the transformative potential of couples counseling, guided by a clear plan and the expertise of the right therapist can help you now, tomorrow and well into your future.
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