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Are we okay? I think our relationship is fine and suddenly I’m all kinds of worried

Do you ever catch yourself wondering if your relationship is okay? Other people do it too. Learn about 3 scenarios that can trigger this reaction.

 

Is our relationship okay? Are we okay? If you are asking the question then probably not. Just kidding. Too soon for a joke? It’s normal to wonder about your relationship as a couple. Relationships are important so it’s natural that you want to make sure that your relationship is on the right track. Let’s take a look at 3 situations that may have you asking the question “are we okay?” .

 

I found out that ____

This happens when we are talking to a friend, watching something on tv or scrolling through social media. We hear that in a healthy relationship you need to do x, y and z but in your relationship you don’t do x or y, and you’ve never even considered doing z. A seed of doubt is planted. As is normal human behavior you take the new information you’ve received and start to analyze it further. “Do we do that?” “Oh my gosh are we like them?!” It’s normal to be curious or concerned especially if what you found out is something that you wish you had in your couple. 

Keep in mind: Before you start to doubt everything, take a breath and a step back and allow yourself to think without being clouded by comparison. It’s normal to get information and have “freak out” moment(s). 

 

Sex has changed

You have started to notice that sex doesn’t look like it used to. Welcome to relationships. You might notice that sex happens less often or you aren’t as interested anymore. You don’t know what’s different and you wonder if there is something wrong. You are not alone, lots of couples use sex as a barometer for how their relationship is going. Just like the example above it may or may not provide an accurate depiction of the relationship. 

Keep in mind: Changes in sex, especially short lived changes, are normal. Some changes may even last longer after life shifting experiences like having children, death, traumas and the like.

 

Do you want to know more about anxiety? Check here Anxiety, a brief description.

 

We don’t really have anything to talk about

You might be thinking that you two used to share so much with one another and now you don’t even know what to ask. You may notice that you have the same conversations, “How was your day?” Etc. When coupling first starts you are strangers so there is plenty of unexplored material and as you become more acquainted with one another it seems that the topics of conversation are fewer. That feeling exists partly because it’s true; there are some things that don’t change, like who your partner is related to. 

 

Keep in mind

There is a natural shift in conversations over the course of a relationship and though there may no longer be many new topics there is space for deeper questions and to explore what you know about each other further as well as just to be more at ease with silence.

Every relationship is different. What works for one couple may not be a good fit for your relationship. It’s normal to feel a bit nervous or worried as you see the differences between you and other couples you meet or have a brief interaction with. Notice if and how these different scenarios impact you and your relationship. Are you questioning because something is off or because of anxiety? Wanting your relationship to be perfect? Etc.  Allow the scenarios above to provide information but not to draw conclusions about your relationship. In the end only you and your partner can decide what you want in your relationship.

 

I hope this post gives an idea of the different scenarios that may start doubts about your relationship, how common these doubts are and allow you to take a deeper look at how these scenarios may affect you. 

 

I look forward to hearing from you and hope this helps you as you take your own powerful and transformative journey. Per usual take what fits for you, leave what does not, and join me next time. Until then let’s stay social 🙂

 

*This content is not a substitute for professional advice, treatment, diagnosis, or similar. Do not delay seeking medical advice or treatment because of this content. For any concerns about your mental health consult your medical professionals. For more on this disclaimer.  

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About the author

I’m Beatriz Stanley, a therapist, yoga instructor and mental health expert.

I help humans create healthy connections with themselves and others by guiding them to own their story, set boundaries, and ask for what they need.

About the author

Beatriz Stanley is a therapist, yoga instructor and mental health expert.
I help humans create healthy connections with themselves and others by guiding them to own their story, set boundaries, and ask for what they need.

About the author

I’m Beatriz Stanley, a therapist, yoga instructor and mental health expert.

I help humans create healthy connections with themselves and others by guiding them to own their story, set boundaries, and ask for what they need.